It’s pretty ironic. I went to write this post after a day off of work a couple of weeks ago in the stay-at-home-mom trenches. I knew to proceed with caution, but I wasn’t quite prepared for what I would find.
I’ve experienced both ways of parenting. And when I Googled my own self “I Heart Heels. Stay at home mom.” this post came up in the results. I’ve never had such a reality check in my life. Pilates? Massage? Nap? Wow. We all know working moms don’t ever see that light. I exercise once every couple weeks, haven’t seen a massage in years and naps are extremely hard to come by – and only if I have the day off. Like that one day. (Duh, I took a nap.) I didn’t know that my “in a few years” would be “in a few months.” And so, the last couple of years I’ve done a lot of mom soul-searching.
I’ve learned that it’s ok to not be there 24 hours a day. Your children will survive. They will learn things like how to make friends and be around other people – ya know, like in life. They will figure out how to do some things on their own – with others on your support team like school and daycare, of course. They’ll tie their shoes, potty train and wash their hands. Just because you don’t do everything for your kids all day long doesn’t make you any less of a parent. It makes you normal. And it makes you a role model. I work really hard for everything in life (call me a goal digger, if you will), and I love that my little ones can see that. Or maybe right now they don’t see that, but some day they will. I certainly appreciate all that my mom has done for me, and that includes her hard work ethic.
Appointments are harder to schedule now. Grocery store trips aren’t quite as serene. (We’re now fighting for the baby bananas in the aisles with other working moms and kids on the weekends.) And while it was one of the toughest things I’ve ever had to do when I sent my little girl off to daycare that morning a couple of years ago, I realize that it’s all ok. And I’ve found out that I can do it.
Where There’s Will, There’s a Way
I was at the playground with a couple of stay-at-home-moms just after school let out that day, and both of the moms agreed that they could never work full time, as they spoke to each other with a distraught look on their face. There are just too many things to get done, they mustered. (As if I was one of them, finishing up my Pilates class from that morning and anticipating tomorrow’s morning nap.) Or maybe they knew I wasn’t one of them since I didn’t join in. But instead, I just remained silent and laughed to myself.
Where there’s a will, there’s a way, my mom always said. Quite honestly there’s nothing that we can “never” do. Moms, we can do any of this. We can do anything because we work hard. The struggle is real every day, but don’t ever think for a minute you can’t do it because we’re all out there just trying to make it all happen. To be the best moms we can be. And whether that does include staying home all day and taking care of the kids like the supermom you are, or going to work all day and then giving it your all outside of those hours. Moms are amazing (I know mine is, especially), and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Comment below and let me know what you love about staying home or working! I’d love to hear it. Happy week! xoxo