Here I am; it’s me.
No, really it’s me again. It’s been awhile since I’ve really written in this space – and I’m sorry. Sometimes we get caught up with life and we leave behind who we truly are.
It makes me sad to think about because this blog has been a labor of my love since 2008 when I decided one day I would put my thoughts out into the world not knowing that a few months later, I would make friends all over the world. I would write product review after product review, travel the country on press trips and come to know my beloved New York like the back of my hand. I’m Twitter friends with Paris Hilton, for crying out loud.
Things changed, as you know, if you read my blog. Then, when COVID hit, things changed again. I lost a bit of myself and as all writers do, they put onto paper (or screen) what really hits them. And this last year, hit me hard. It wasn’t until the last couple of months though, that I could really sum it up. So here goes nothing.
It’s not so much what has COVID taught me, but what has it reinforced in me and what did I find?
1. I found who will never let me down.
Before COVID, I had a lot of this-and-that relationships. Many meaningless. Many that were barely hanging on to begin with, and many that didn’t bother to last. What lasted? My family. The last year made me realize who really has my back, and while sometimes it’s tough to stomach, there are few and far between who would lend you their Prada purse in a pinch.
2. I found my faith again.
You know sometimes you go through the motions and just keep going. Well, I once heard that you can’t really keep going without looking back at where you’ve been. I carefully took a step back, listened to the overwhelming tug of the Holy Spirit (I’m telling you, I avoided it through most of COVID) – and it is fierce. Knowing that I am in a good place right now by following this tug, has been life-changing and freeing.
3. I found what really matters.
My two littles are my world. You know because you’ve grown to read about them here. I’ll never regret the extra time I’ve been able to spend at home with them (even if it came with stress sometimes, as we all experienced with kids). We had pool day after pool day and did more puzzles than I’ve ever imagined doing in my whole life. We finished crafts, discovered new dances, had karaoke, watched new movies and created new favorite snacks. I’m telling you; my whole world. There’s not a heel on a shelf I’d trade for it and this life with them.
4. I found myself.
COVID really taught me that you have control of your own life. You’re one decision away from a completely different life. During COVID? I stopped running. I formed some bad habits. I stopped writing. I formed some more bad habits. I lost a lot of sleep. I gained weight. I lost weight. I lost friends. I lost relationships. Amidst it all, I found myself again. All of me. The three-taco-eating-rap-music-loving-running-every-week-writing-every-night-fashion-loving-blonde-haired-Jesus-fearing-kid-loving-mom that I am. That’s me. I’m back. And I’m so crazy glad.
I know now more than ever that I can’t waste another day. ❤️